I think I want fake relationships.

I mean, I don’t know. But every time I hear about a “real” relationship, teensy little shivers flee up and down my spine. A “real” mom? A “real” parent? A “real” love of my life?

No, thank you. If you need a “real” relationship, I’m likely not for you.

Real relationships are neat and tidy.

I think I rather like “messy relationships.” Real relationships have plenty of rules to make everything perfect. Which I’m not sure is a great plan. Although, for what it’s worth, I manage to have a decent sense of what the future holds. Even without bothering with a lot of rules or labels. Crazy, I know.

Real relationships have super terrifying emotional feelings.

Well, who doesn’t want to be terrified all the time? Sounds great.

Real relationships mean you are never lonely.

Ah, yes, my friends in real relationships with labels and societally approved contracts are never, ever lonely. Slapping a label on the relationship improves any relationship. Actually, that sounds pretty good. Maybe sign me up after all?

Or maybe not.

I don’t need a “real” relationship, because I’ve already got something better.

I value my relationships, regardless of their “validity.” My relationship with my unmarried partner. The children to whom I have no legal ties. The persons in my life that I share no labels with, but I do share my time and emotional burdens (as they share with me). My “just” friends that would do anything for me. But, yes, it’s true I don’t have a “real” relationship by certain standards.

It’s funny, but when I look around at “real” relationships that have imploded and caused insane amounts of heartache and pain, I’m not seeing much of an impulse to go that route. When a stranger, out of the blue, tells me that she’ll never get married again– what, again, is pushing me to take that path?

So, yes, I’m good with fake relationships. Or what many others would call fake relationships.

Because they seem pretty real to me.