when you (don’t) know they’re the one

They ask me, how do you know? How do you discover love? How are you sure they are right for you? How, well, how did -you- know? I mean, you’re in love now, yes? So how did you know...

sometimes you’re not enough

Sometimes you love someone– and all you receive is their pity. Sometimes you waste your life for someone– and they resent you for it. Sometimes you say, “I’ve always been there for you.”– and they say,”That’s the problem.” Sometimes...

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why someone doesn’t accept your kind words [or actions]

I saw a piece about someone who said something nice— and another someone responded with unkind words, and this made yet another person upset. “(S)he just said something nice.  Can’t you just accept that and move on?”  After all,...

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fake relationships are actually quite satisfying

I think I want fake relationships. I mean, I don’t know. But every time I hear about a “real” relationship, teensy little shivers flee up and down my spine. A “real” mom? A “real” parent? A “real” love of...

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stay single until— an analysis & an observation

“Until it feels easy.” My heart wants people to be able to express thoughts that make them happy, but my brain sighs, “Until WHAT feels easy?”** It’s nice to say, “Being single is fun and easy!”— and certainly I...

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my love isn’t sacred

My love isn’t sacred. I am not your Chosen or your angel. But, still, My love is good for you, I think. As yours is for me. And, tonight, I am glad you are holding me and protecting me...

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“this seems like an exciting time for you” and other awesome alternatives to “that sounds complicated”

“Your life is complicated.” I wasn’t telling my friend about a problem or a headache.  Just a simple recounting of latest happenings.  The response?  “Sounds complicated.” If you don’t get why this is not the best thing to say,...

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what the company we keeps says about us

I don't always trust my instincts. I want to like everyone.  I'm easily manipulated. I'm less gullible than I used to be, but when I first meet you I want to think the best.  Even as you inappropriately lean into...

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when they fall in love with you

“It’s one thing to fall in love. It’s another to feel someone else fall in love with you, and to feel a responsibility toward that love.” — Every Day by David Levithan Falling in love is easy.  Love is...

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just because someone doesn’t easily say, “I love you,” doesn’t mean their love language isn’t words of affection

(If you aren’t familiar with the five love languages, please take some time to inform yourself.) (Also, please note that I believe that while we might have a primary love language or two, I do believe that most of...